I was visiting some friends a few weeks ago and the conversation turned to facebook.  Someone asked me, “why aren’t we facbook friends?”  To which I replied, “um, I thought we were real friends, and…I am not on facebook”.  A hush came over the room and 12 people proceeded to tell me why I HAD to join facebook.  Now, I don’t believe I HAVE to join anything (other than the ranks of people who curse their bad luck and show up for jury duty once every 5 years), but I found myself having to defend over and over why I have not yet, and don’t plan to ever, join facebook. Here are the top five arguments and my response.

1) People say “It’s great, you connect with people you have not spoken to in years!”

I say: I am sure there is a reason I have not spoken to them in years.  Probably, because I decided I did not like them

2) People say: “But you can post your wedding pictures, and look at other peoples pictures and babies”

I say: I did not even make a wedding album to show my family, I have no desire to post pictures of a private and sacred day ON THE INTERNET for strangers to look at.  And any kids I want to see, I have seen.  You know, in person.

3) People say: “It is a great way to keep in touch”

I say:  I believe that having dinner is a great way to keep in touch.  I believe talking on the phone or sending ‘gasp’ an actual letter is a great way to keep in touch.  I believe that mass updates on what you are doing is a mediocre, at best, way of keeping in touch.

4) People Say: “It is easy”

I say:  So is easting fast food, using automatic bill pay and wearing sweatpants to work but I don’t do any of those things either.

5) People say: “You can re-connect with people you went to high school with”

I say: My point exactly!

PS:  I have been meaning to write this post for a while, but I was finally inspired by this very funny post over at Learning to Fly.

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