April 28, 2009
This past weekend I had the great pleasure of celebrating the much anticipated arrival of my good friend A’s first son at her baby shower*. As some of you may remember from my last baby shower experience…finding yourself among hooter hiders and baby leggings and all sorts of necessities can be a little overwhelming. So, for those of you who are going to be going to baby showers in the next few years, or for those of you who are just curious, here is my second instillation of “Things you just had no idea a baby needed until you went to a baby shower”
1) Cloth Diapers – Don’t get me worng…I am all for going green. I recycle and take those little canvas bags to the grocery store on the days that I remember but I draw the line at cloth diapers. Modern technology helped us to many life easing milestones like washing machines and swifer wet jets and disposable diapers. Modern technology did this for us because no one should have to clean poop out of a white cloth 27 times a day.**
2) A bottle sanitizer- Silly me…I thought they called this soap and water. I did not get close enough to this product to see what it promised, but it had a lot of bells and whistles for a product that could be duplicated in a dishwasher.
3) A sleep sack – I am all over a sack for sleeping. I am actually all over a sack for anything. How about a work sack or a car sack? Has someone developed an eating sack? Does it replace the need for a bib?
(Baby: Look, it is my own personal sack for sleeping)
4)A sleep positioner- this is apparently for the child who is failed by the sleep sack and needs to step it up. Personally, I like to sleep laying down but I guess any other position will do.
5) A boppy- I would LOVE to meet the dude or chick who came up with this idea. Like the non-parent that I am…I took one look at it and said “who convinced someone they needed to buy that, it is just a big neck pillow” I was later informed that it is a device that helps kids sit up when they are not big enough to sit up yet. Now, I think it is brilliant. Do they have other products that help kids do the stuff that they are not big enough for? A magic diaper that makes you kid toilet trained? A pair of sneakers that can teach them to walk? A spoon that shows them how to feed themselves, prepare dinner and do the dishes? No? Looks like a new product line to me.
(You tell me that this thing does not look like a big neck pillow)
*As a side note: A’s sister J (one of my favorite non commenting readers) threw quite possibly the nicest baby shower with the cutest ideas I have ever seen or heard of. Everything was perfect and if she ever decides she is ready to do this sort of a thing for a living…she is going to be loaded.
**I have no confirmation that babies poop 27 times a day but from what I understand…they go a lot.
April 13, 2009
Five signs you have lived a good life….
1) There is no parking at your wake. Cars fill the lot, litter the street and swell into vacant lots nearby.
2) The guest book has been filled two hours into the wake. The funeral home scrambles to find more pages or another book.
3) Your mass cards have photographs of the natural world you loved on the front and a quote by Dr Seuss on the back.
4) The seats for your funeral are full 20 minutes before the service is scheduled to begin. Ten minutes before a line forms at the door and by the time the service starts, bodies are pressed against walls, filling corridors and oozing out onto the street.
5) The sound of soft sobs, delicate sniffles and purses being rummaged for tissues provides a soothing back drop to the eulogy your daughters gave you. People cry for you, for your children and for a sense of loss they can not quite put into words.
For A&A, my deepest sympathies for the loss of your mother. She most certainly led a life that was well worth living.
“Don’t cry because it is over, Smile because it happened” Dr. Seuss.
February 24, 2009
-more than 10 years of friendship
-an undisclosed number of boyfriends, three marriages and one divorce
-over 15 addresses spanning three continents
-sick parents and lost grandparents
-countless laughs, tears and hugs
We still belong together
Where do you belong?
February 10, 2009
Here are five things to remember when you go on a wine tasting tour with your girlfriends (or guy friends, it does not matter)
1) Pack snacks. Everyone knows that food and wine were made for each other and nothing starts a day of early alcohol consumption better than a delicious pic-nick lunch
2) Have a designated driver! No matter how many of those snacks you consume and how stingy the pours may be, no one who has gone through 6 flights of wine should be behind the steering wheel of anything bigger than a Tonka truck. Actually, I take that back…you should avoid Tonka trucks as well. You never know.
3) Do not try anything that starts with the following introduction: “don’t think of this as a wine, think of it as a drink”. Why? Because wine should taste like wine, like dried cherries or Hungarian oak, like steel barrels or apricots, but it should never, ever, under any circumstances taste like Hawaiian tropic tanning oil. Blah. (to both actually)
4) It is hard to determine exactly when you should stop visiting wineries or stop tasting wine. I suggest stopping when you can no longer tell the difference from a pinot gris and a pinot noir or when you think “leather on the nose” is hilarious.
5) When you find a bottle of petite sirah that you love and happens to be offered at a discount, don’t buy all that you can carry. Buy more. You will figure out a way to get it home. Or,your sober driver will figure out a way to get it home. I love sober drivers.
Thank you C,E,G and M for an amazing Sunday.
January 24, 2009
-I am humbled by the gift of friendship; by the easy laughter, smooth conversation and sensation of being completely accepted. I am humbled by a gift from a dear friend who gave me something so thoughtful and so generous, so kind and so clearly evident of the depth in which she knows me.
-I am humbled by manual labor. I am humbled by the people who do this work day in and day out in the snow and the wind and the cold without the luxury of five days at a desk to rest their sore backs and heal their wounded hands.
-I am humbled by a friend who choose to bring a child into this world and now waits patiently and lovingly for the infant to arrive. I am as humbled by her certainty as I am by her calm and I am humbled by the mother I know she will be.
-I am humbled by the man who stood in front of me in line at a market last week and waited with his head high for a manger to re-try a benefits card that would not work. I am humbled by the sack of milk, bread and cheese he was determined to bring home to his family and I am humbled by my inability to find the best way to help him while I waited and did nothing.
-I am humbled by my husband whose reservoirs of hard work and patience show no visible end. I am humbled by his enthusiasm to wake up and work the 6th and 7th day of the week and I am humbled by the absence of one word of complaint.
What humbles you?
November 26, 2008
Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving with:
-loving friends and family
-and lots of laughter*
*and if you need something to get a good laugh out of…take a look at the tissue paper turkey above. It has just been way too long since i have seen a good tissue paper turkey.
November 17, 2008
Saturday my college friends and I piled into D’s yellow Jeep wrangler and made our way to CT to visit our good friend A. As aforementioned, spending time with these three women is both relaxing and rejuvenating and always full of laughter, hugs and lots and lots of wine. That is, until you hear you friend say the following five words:
Congratulations A&B. After seeing your loyalty to your family, the kindness you show your friends and the love you have for each other; I have no doubt you are going to be amazing parents. We are so very happy for you.
November 3, 2008
This past weekend I was out near La petite belle and we were able to get together for the afternoon. Here are five things you may or may not know about her from reading her blog.
1) She is beautiful. For the most part, you can get a sense of this from the pictures she posts. But in real life, she is the type of beautiful that prompts waiters to offer to run out to the store to get her coke zero when she discovers they don’t have any at the restaurants. She is also the type of beautiful that is not shocked by this offer, “oh, they are so nice here, I bet that do that for everyone”, she says. Um… I am going to have to go with nope on that one.
2) Her laugh is infectious. If you read some of the same blogs she does and see her comments they are flecked with ‘Ha Ha’s’ all over the place. This is because in real life; she laughs frequently and honestly.
3) She speaks with the kind of openess that makes her amazingly easy to talk to. Twenty minutes into lunch we laughed like old friends and I found myself finishing sentences with, “oh my gosh, I have never told anyone that before”.
4) She has great taste. Again, this is something you can probably see from the pictures she posts, but after lunch we popped into a store and found ourselves gushing…”oh, cute” at the exact same moment. So, maybe her taste is just similar to mine.
5) She eats like a bird. To be fair, she fesses up to this immediately but halfway through lunch I had plowed through most of my salad and she had barely touched her meal. Maybe this is how she stays so la petite?
Thank you LPB for a wonderful afternoon.
October 20, 2008
Here are 5 ways you can very easily waste an entire weekend, with out really accomplishing anything.
1) Watching Lifetime TV- Even worse than Lifetime is that Lifetime movie network. Have you seen the one where all the 14 year old’s get syphilis? It sure makes the “gee mom, I smoked a cigarette, we should really talk about it” after school specials we grew up on seem rather lame.
2) Thinking about packing but not actually packing – At the end of the week I am heading to Alaska for a few days for work and I have NO idea what to pack.* I have a formal reception to go to plus lots of meeting-ish stuff and the only thing I can think of that sounds Alaska appropriate is a fur coat and muff. And as fate would have it… both my fur coat and muff are at the cleaners. Maybe Sarah Palin can take a brief break from her political career and SNL obligations to give me some advice? Also, does anyone know where I get on of those blow up neck pillow things for the plane? The non-blow up ones are easy to find but I can’t find the inflatable ones anywhere and since I will be spending apx 18 hrs in airplane seats, I am thinking regardless of the cost…it will be worth the investment.
3) Baby worship – My friend H, whose baby shower I attended last month, had her beautiful little girl two weeks ago. I spent a good portion of Sunday gazing into her sapphire blue eyes (when they were open) and being in total wonder of this little girl who turned my friend into a mother. (I spent an equal portion of Sunday hearing all about the horrible birth she had, vowing never to go to the hospital where she delivered and making a mental note to research adoption agencies when I got home)
4) Gem week on HSN- As aforementioned, I am a sucker for home shopping networks, and gem week is my favorite. But, for anyone who is feeling judgemental about home shopping I must inform you that as of this morning, the design store for Museum of Modern Art was on HSN. And if it is good enough for the MOMA, it is good enough for all of us. Don’t judge.
5) Listening to the Bills game on the radio – I have not had time to really look into it this morning but apparently, someone released some balloons outside of the Bills stadium, they got caught in a transformer and the entire stadium was with out power for most of the game. No lights, no score board, no timing system, no communication between players, and commentators who were calling in the game via cell phone as ref’s kept the clock on watches. I love this stuff! I just hope the balloons did not belong to some dude who was hoping to propose to his girlfriend on the score board at half time. Not only did he fuck up the game for everyone else; he was with out balloons to give her when he popped the question on a score board that was not working. Tough day MR. Stadium Scoreboard Proposal Guy.
* Some of you have GOT to be wondering what I do for a living that requires me to go to Mississippi and Alaska in the same month.