Why Facebook and I are not friends

July 20, 2009

I was visiting some friends a few weeks ago and the conversation turned to facebook.  Someone asked me, “why aren’t we facbook friends?”  To which I replied, “um, I thought we were real friends, and…I am not on facebook”.  A hush came over the room and 12 people proceeded to tell me why I HAD to join facebook.  Now, I don’t believe I HAVE to join anything (other than the ranks of people who curse their bad luck and show up for jury duty once every 5 years), but I found myself having to defend over and over why I have not yet, and don’t plan to ever, join facebook. Here are the top five arguments and my response.

1) People say “It’s great, you connect with people you have not spoken to in years!”

I say: I am sure there is a reason I have not spoken to them in years.  Probably, because I decided I did not like them

2) People say: “But you can post your wedding pictures, and look at other peoples pictures and babies”

I say: I did not even make a wedding album to show my family, I have no desire to post pictures of a private and sacred day ON THE INTERNET for strangers to look at.  And any kids I want to see, I have seen.  You know, in person.

3) People say: “It is a great way to keep in touch”

I say:  I believe that having dinner is a great way to keep in touch.  I believe talking on the phone or sending ‘gasp’ an actual letter is a great way to keep in touch.  I believe that mass updates on what you are doing is a mediocre, at best, way of keeping in touch.

4) People Say: “It is easy”

I say:  So is easting fast food, using automatic bill pay and wearing sweatpants to work but I don’t do any of those things either.

5) People say: “You can re-connect with people you went to high school with”

I say: My point exactly!

PS:  I have been meaning to write this post for a while, but I was finally inspired by this very funny post over at Learning to Fly.

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11 Responses to “Why Facebook and I are not friends”

  1. f.B Says:

    I’ve been wondering why I’ve kept my Facebook account for months now. It’s quickly becoming even less of a social network and more of a marketing platform.

    I obviously don’t know much about it, but I keep hearing that same sentiment.

  2. Lexi Says:

    this makes me smile. yes, I am on facebook and it amazes me, the people from 3rd grade who find me, people that I had forgotten all about. am I awful? maybe! a good friend of mine isn’t on it for exactly the reasons you listed 🙂

    I know nothing of facebook, but I know with 100% certainty that the way you use it does not make anyone awful.

  3. adorablybitter Says:

    Apart from the important function of allowing stalking (gotta be honest about my problem, right?) I mainly use FB to communicate with people I also at the same time communicate by phones/letters/dinners/weekend shenanigans.

    I love the word ‘shenanigans’

  4. Liebchen Says:

    I admit: I do love looking at all the photos. But as for some of the high school re-connects? You’re right. There’s a reason it’s been so long.

    Exactly!

  5. LiLu Says:

    I agree 100% with all of these.

    Except for the sweatpants to work thing. I would TOTALLY do that if I could get away with it.

    (Go ahead… act surprised.)

    oh, I would totally do it too. But last week I wore a dress to work and someone commented that I was going for the ‘casual’ look. I almost punched her. I think me wearing sweatpants would result in an assault charge.

  6. La Petite Belle Says:

    you don’t use automatic bill pay? SERIOUSLY?

    Seriously. I know this may shock you but I am a little bit of a control freak. I don’t like money coming and going from my checking account without being directly involved.

  7. Anna at Hank and Willie Says:

    LPB, I’m right with you. Do you seriously WRITE CHECKS? Finally got my husband to break that habit, and he is appreciating the hours of his life he gets back. 🙂 For Facebook.

    I do, I actually write checks! I even have one of those booklets to pay my student loans and I use it every month.

  8. restaurant refugee Says:

    This one of those posts that I read and could only think: “man, I wish I had written that.”

    I don’t need to facebook, or twitter, and more than all of that, I don’t need anyone trying to convince me that I do.

    I don’t even know enough about twitter to know why I don’t do it. I just know that I don’t.

  9. JoLee Says:

    You really don’t use automatic bill pay? Aside from birthday gifts, I really can’t remember the last time I wrote an actual check.

    I love how this post inadvertently outted me as a check writer. Yeah, I still write checks and I love it.

  10. Chelsea Talks Smack Says:

    HAHAHAHAHA number four made me laugh out loud, very true.

    Thanks!

  11. Matt Says:

    HAHA, dude I write out checks too.

    I love that you call me dude.

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