The Five People You Meet At Dinner

July 6, 2009

Last week D and I found ourselves with one of those reasons to celebrate* that allows you to forgo any self imposed budgetary restrictions you had in place and go anywhere you want for dinner.  We mulled it over and talked about where he wanted to go, we thought about some swanky places with over priced food and some really casual places with underrated food.  Finally we settled on a beatutiful local place on the docks that over looks the water and has a view as good as the food.  We generally stay away from these places not because they are not great, but because well…they are always full of people.  Last week was no different.  Here are the 5 different classifications of people who were out that night and easy ways to spot them.

1) The Family That Arrived by Yacht.

Can be spottedwearing: Navy blue blazers with gold buttons, white shirts, tan pants and loafers (no socks).  Amazingly enough, this outfit comes in sizes ranging from 4T to 44/34.  Adult women can be found in Lilly Pulitzer dresses on overly tanned skin wearing their ‘summer’ diamonds on polished fingers clutching Chanel bags.   Juvenile girls wear sundresses with impossibly white cardigans and have begun training for their first face lift with hair pulled back in a painfully tight bow courtesy of their foreign nanny.

Can be heard: Saying nothing.


2) The People That Work for the Family That Arrived by Yacht.

Can be spotted wearing: White shorts and matching polo shirts over tan well worked bodies with boating sandals, white sneakers or flip flops.  When the sun goes down and their polarized sunglasses are pushed up on their sun bleached hair you can see serious sunglass lines (raccoon eyes) and are assured they have the farmers tan to match.

Can be heard: Actually talking to the children or seeking out a place to find cheap draft beer.

3) The Tourists.

Can be spotted wearing:  Matching sweatshirts with screened on letters spelling out the name of the town they are visiting or the town they visited before when the temperature dropped and they realized they packed for the tropics not a coastal town in New England.    Outfits are accessorized with shopping bags full of salt water taffy, cheap t-shirts and small boxes covered in shells. Cameras hang unashamedly around their necks.

Can be heard: Asking for directions while looking at their map, discussing the merits of the 2 for 1 coupon verse the 20% off coupon and wondering out loud ‘where all the locals eat’.

4) The Locals

Can be spotted wearing: Judgemental looks, signs of fatigue and whatever they wore to work that day, or whatever they threw on when they got home. 

Can be heard: Complaining about the tourists, saying hello to friends who have also ventured out for the night and comparing this summers crowds to last.

5) The Fishermen

Can be spotted wearing: Concerned looks over the falling  prices of  wholesale lobster** under salt caked baseball caps advertising West Marine or a local shipyard,  foul weather gear, work boots and t-shirts.   Work callused hands clutch bags of gear, coolers of lunch remnants and sweatshirts not needed since dawn.

Can be heard: Giving each other a hard time, laughing at someones expense or walking home exhausted in silence. 

* For anyone who is wondering, D passed the last of 7 exams to become a licensed architect. 

**Go out tonight and buy lobster!  It is cheap, delicious and the industry is really hurting.  If you live in NE, buy local lobster!  If you live anywhere else, buy NE lobster! If you are a lobster lover and are going to write me a nasty e-mail about the promotion of killing sea creatures don’t bother! 


Don’t you want to eat me?


13 Responses to “The Five People You Meet At Dinner”

  1. Carmen Says:

    yum! and CONGRATULATIONS TO D! that is awesome news.

    Thank you!

  2. LiLu Says:

    “Giving each other a hard time, laughing at someones expense or walking home exhausted in silence.”

    I didn’t know I was a fisherman…

    Congrats to D!!!

    Good point, I think we all have those days. And, thank you.

  3. Lexi Says:

    I really want that lobster!

    Congrats to D!

    Me too, and I just had one the other night!

  4. Matt Says:

    I think I will buy lobster. So thanks for that.

    Anytime. Buy it, eat it and don’t share it. Yum.

  5. Matt Says:

    Also, congrats to D.


  6. Jen Says:

    Congratulations to D! That is an awesome reason to celebrate. Even when I am a “tourist” in Newport, I can’t stand the tourists either. HA!
    Good to see you both last weekend!

    You are so NOT a tourist! It was great to see you too, come up and visit soon (or, we will see you in CT for some baby worship)!

  7. f.B Says:

    I want to meet The People That Work for the Family That Arrived by Yacht. They’ve got to have great stories about the by-yacht-arriving family. By “great” I mean “humiliating and status-reducing.”

    And big, big congrats on the last exam.

    Oh yeah, those are the people you buy shots for until they start to fess up. Have you ever seen the movie “Overboard”? Picture that but with out the cute carpenter.

  8. Liebchen Says:

    I’m a lobster lover in that they are my *favorite* seafood dish, by far. And I don’t get them nearly enough.

    Also, I love the “locals” description – I feel like that’s pretty universal.

  9. Molly Says:

    Yay D!!!!! We are WAY overdue for a get together. Soon??

  10. scottahb Says:

    Haha… Great post. This really reminds me of when I worked at a local seafood restaurant as a kid. Don’t forget the angry tourists – the ones that used to look me in the eye, thrust a seafood platter at me and scream, “Tell me these scallops weren’t cooked LAST WEEK! TELL ME!!!!”

  11. Esquire Training 101 Says:

    I once heard lobsters described as “cockroaches of the sea.” Not necessarily appetizing , but you also can’t feel bad for eating them!

  12. Jennie Says:

    Congrats, D!

    This list was so funny. I’ve never understood why the buttons on the navy blazers have to be gold.

  13. beasquared Says:

    Congrats to D!! I would eat lobster more if the restaurants around my town cook them better. =/

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