Hello, yeah it’s been a while. Not much, how ’bout you?

So it has officially been ages since I have posted.  I wish I had a really good reason why I have been missing from the interwebs* but the fact is, life has just been insane.  Since the truth about where I have been is no where near as exciting as it should be, I am going to post five really good excuses and let you pick which one is your favorite, and you can go with that. 

1) An oldie, but a goodie; I was abducted by aliens.  I was driving my car along I95 between Hartford and Bridgeport, CT (the WORST stretch of highway in the world) and I beganto think that nothing in the world could be more aggravating than this. Then SLAM  a bright light appeared form the sky and I, my 2004 Mazda 3 and all the crap I keep inside were beamed up into the sky.  Three weeks later, I returned to earth.

2) I briefly joined the Obama administration to try to talk him through his pick for supreme court justice.  We all know that the Obama team has had trouble with their choices and taxes and I thought that I could help out.  I went through his lists of Hispanics and Chicks and personally checked their tax returns for the last 22 years.  Step off GOP, I have this one covered.

3) I ran away from home.  I decided that work and laundry and the never ending job of vacuuming up cat hair were too much for my feeble mind to handle any more.  So I tossed some things in a back pack grabbed a sleeping bag and headed to North Hampton, MA to join all the spoiled-little-rich-kids engaging in political homelessness and trivializing the real problem of mental health issues and people living on the street.  Then I realized I could not stand those people but I sold my phone for a Venti non fat no whip latte and had to hitch hike home.

4) I went to a meditation retreat and spent three weeks removing myself from people, noise and technology to focus on my breath and the sounds of nature.  I Ohm’d morning, noon and night and slept on a board to insure my soul was grounded and close to mother earth.  This worked out exceedingly well for me until I realized that I don’t like my breath and the noise of technology is no where near as frightening as the things that run through my mind when giving the opportunity to take over. 

5) I have just been insanely busy.  Work has been both really good and really stressful and D and I are trying like the dickens to move into our new home in June.  This is the new home that currently has no bathroom tile, no kitchen floor and is still waiting for the gas company to find the time to hook up our gas line so we can have luxuries like hot water…and a stove. 

I hope you have all been well and I look forward to catching up on your blogs this week. 

PS:  If you ever google “hello, yeah its been a while” to double check the lyrics (something I always do before I post) you will find pages of people starting posts about why they have been away for.  It is pretty funny even it is is most obviously unoriginal. 

*I stole this term from FB.  Consider this a footnote please.