And she didn’t even get something to hide her hooters

April 28, 2009

This past weekend I had the great pleasure of celebrating the much anticipated arrival of my good friend A’s first son at her baby shower*.  As some of you may remember from my last baby shower experience…finding yourself among hooter hiders and baby leggings and all sorts of necessities can be a little overwhelming.  So, for those of you who are going to be going to baby showers in the next few years, or for those of you who are just curious, here is my second instillation of “Things you just had no idea a baby needed until you went to a baby shower”

1) Cloth Diapers – Don’t get me worng…I am all for going green.  I recycle and take those little canvas bags to the grocery store on the days that I remember but I draw the line at cloth diapers.  Modern technology helped us to many life easing milestones like washing machines and swifer wet jets and disposable diapers.  Modern technology did this for us because no one should have to clean poop out of a white cloth 27 times a day.**

2) A bottle sanitizer- Silly me…I thought they called this soap and water.  I did not get close enough to this product to see what it promised, but it had a lot of bells and whistles for a product that could be duplicated in a dishwasher.

3) A sleep sack – I am all over a sack for sleeping.  I am actually all over a sack for anything.  How about a work sack or a car sack?  Has someone developed an eating sack?  Does it replace the need for a bib?


(Baby: Look, it is my own personal sack for sleeping)

4)A sleep positioner- this is apparently for the child who is failed by the sleep sack and needs to step it up.  Personally, I like to sleep laying down but I guess any other position will do.

5) A boppy-  I would LOVE to meet the dude or chick who came up with this idea.  Like the non-parent that I am…I took one look at it and said “who convinced someone they needed to buy that, it is just a big neck pillow”  I was later informed that it is a device that helps kids sit up when they are not big enough to sit up yet.  Now, I think it is brilliant.  Do they have other products that help kids do the stuff that they are not big enough for?  A magic diaper that makes you kid toilet trained?  A pair of sneakers that can teach them to walk?  A spoon that shows them how to feed themselves, prepare dinner and do the dishes?  No?  Looks like a new product line to me.

6a00e54efec758883301156eedfdd9970c-800wi1(You tell me that this thing does not look like a big neck pillow)

*As a side note:  A’s sister J (one of my favorite non commenting readers) threw quite possibly the nicest baby shower with the cutest ideas I have ever seen or heard of.  Everything was perfect and if she ever decides she is ready to do this sort of a thing for a living…she is going to be loaded.

**I have no confirmation that babies poop 27 times a day but from what I understand…they go a lot.


12 Responses to “And she didn’t even get something to hide her hooters”

  1. hahahaha- you’re too funny. I loved my boppy though, and I used cloth diapers.. LOL I just thought they were so much cuter! They even have designer ones! LOL

    Only you would have designer cloth diapers…only you my love.

  2. Matt Says:

    This post had great potential to be epic by the title… then I scroll down to read about baby showers?

    I know. I am sorry. Forgive me?

  3. Lexi Says:

    a sleep positioner? really? I am intrigued! I think I also want a sleep sack. that would be especially good for me, as I kick around so much in my sleep that my blankets often end up on the floor!

    I like the sleep sack too…but I think my feet would get hot.

  4. Jen Says:

    Wow, thanks Sara! If I ever decide to do it for a living, you will be the first to know!
    P.S. Even though she didn’t get the hooter hiders, you have to admit the Pee Pee TeePee’s were just as funny! HA

    YES! How could I have forgotten about the Pee Pee TeePee’s.

  5. LiLu Says:

    Oh my lord… and I’m stressed about the stuff I need to get for a KITTEN.

    NO BABIES!!!

    Kittens can be very stressful. Get him/her used to a scratch pad or post now. Trust me, you and your couch will be thankful.

  6. f.B Says:

    That sleep sack. How large do they make it?

    I think they max out at 3-6 months….but I could be wrong.

  7. JoLee Says:

    maybe I can train my kid to use a litter box. how convenient would THAT be?

    Brilliant! Put it in a book and you will be on Oprah in no time.

  8. I want an eating sack. For myself.

  9. Chelle Says:

    I think pee pee teepee’s* could be marketed to other age groups as well. I mean, men are obsessed with the pee pee and where it goes**, so why not in a teepee?

    *This is totally a difficult phrase to type.

    **I’ll understand if you decide not to publish my strangely, rude comment about something that was likely much more adorable and appropriate.

  10. Matt Says:

    Perspective of a guy whose wife is currently going through the baby shower thing (full disclosure: the kid is mine:) When I saw the boppy I had no idea you could put the kid in it. I thought it’s entire function was as a wrap around body pillow that the kid rested on while enjoying some of mom’s finest, thus leaving mom’s hands free for other things like working the remote or drinking a beer*.

    * my wife would never actually do such things while feeding the kid, but this probably helps explain why men aren’t designed to breast feed.

  11. Tasha Says:

    I actually used the boppy around my waist while I nursed – it held my arms up so they didn’t get so tired from holding the baby at the correct angle. A 4-6 month old baby gets very heavy during a 20 minute per side nursing! I never tried to sit my kids up in it….why rush that?

  12. LiLu Says:

    I miss you.

    Just sayin’.

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