ShamWow says “oh, oww!”

March 31, 2009

I know you were all waiting for some sort of post about how amazing Hawaii was, and I hate to disappoint*.  BUT, this morning I was driving to work and I heard this story about the ShamWow guy getting arrested in Miami last month.  I know some of you are big fans of the ShamWow so I could not let this event go with out mentioning these five questions about this amazing story.

1) How is it that Mr. Schlomi was arrested a whole month ago and we are only hearing about it now?  You would think that the news had an international financial crisis or a migrant ship capsizing off Libya to report on.  Doesn’t the NY Times have room for this now that Blagojevich’s hair has gone away and Madoff has stopped smuggling jewelry out of his apartment?

2)It costs $1,000 to have ‘strait sex’ with a hooker?  Someone should tell these guys that for $40 worth of booze they could impress a girl at bar and get laid for free.  You would think for a grand she would toss in a little something extra.

3) What would possess anyone to bite someones tongue?  Didn’t people watch Real World San Francisco?  Have we learned nothing from the woes of Puck?

4) How did the police possibly keep a strait face while they brought this guy in?  Is there any possible way they made it to the station with out making a joke about cleaning up ones own mess?

5) Why am I so ridiculously interested in this story?  I went to not one, not two but three different web sites to verify its accuracy**.  I don’t think I have relied on that much media since the electoral college appeared on an ice map

* who am I kidding, no one really wants to hear that I spent 10 days in paradise where the weather was 81 and sunny every day and the balcony from my hotel room looked out over the ocean.

** if this story is not true, please don’t leave me a mean comment telling me to check my sources.  I am fully aware that my sources are absurd but lets face it, most of this blog is absurd.

PS:  I want to thank my husband D for doing an amazing and hilarious guest post for me while I was away.  He is literally that funny all the time.

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14 Responses to “ShamWow says “oh, oww!””

  1. JoLee Says:

    excuse me, it’s a little dark here under my rock, but who is ShamWow?

    I had to google him.

  2. f.B Says:

    Vince, Vince, Vince. It’s a dark day for the exiled scientologist.

    And the pictures? The hooker roughed, him, up.

  3. Liebchen Says:

    Wow…that’s a hell of a mugshot. Also, LOVE the title of this post!

  4. NMRM Says:

    Duuuuuude. I still stand behind the “Sham-WOW”. That is a good product. Much better than Suzanne Somer’s ‘Thigh-Master’. But, not quite as good as the George Forman Grill. I’m just a hometown kind of gal and any man who gives his kin the same name as he is an upstanding citizen in my book. Wait… he named FIVE of them George? Oh hell naw.

    This is sort of like that time that Chris Brown beat the crap out of Rihanna… What’s that? this is nothing like that time? Oh… huh.

    “ALLEGEDLY”


  5. hahahahaha. hilarious. love the title. Did you get pictures in Hawaii?

  6. LiLu Says:

    His mugshot rivals Gary Busey’s, for serious.

  7. Maxie Says:

    I don’t even want to admit the things I’d do for $1000! This guy is stupid.


  8. Welcome back! Wish you had brought a little of that Hawaiian weather back with you–I’m a little cold in my peep toes today.

  9. Molly Says:

    I think the real questions are a) did he hit her WITH the ShamWow and b) was he wearing his wireless headset?

  10. Elizabeth Says:

    Glad your back. But I don’t want to see you again until your tan has faded. Oh, whatever… I’ll get over it. WE NEED TO GO OUT!!!!!

    And on the topic of ShamWow….there was a ShamWow imposter at one of my shows a few weeks ago and it got one guy all riled (sp?)up… somehow the imposter was my fault – as is everything. Perhaps the imposter can cover for this guy if he does time.

  11. Matt Says:

    Puck taught me the snot rocket.

    that was pretty cool I guess.

  12. apollocreed Says:

    I hope he used a ShawWow to sop up any juices that were left behind.

  13. Erin Says:

    I’m with JoLee.

    I’m so out of it.

  14. Erin Says:

    Sara, Sara come back to us pleeeease!

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