A post that is WAY better than ‘fine’

March 23, 2009

I have written about him…and you have read about him.  But until now, you have never really met him.  Here is a guest post from my husband, D. 

Since sara is off “working” in Hawaii for the next week (tough life), its time for ‘D’ to step in with a guest blog titled:

 Lines that sound good or harmless unless said by your girlfriend/ wife.

 “Let’s have a chat (or talk)”

-Typical meaning:  Light conversation with friends, usually involves laughter and drinks.

-Real meaning:  You better sit down and clear your schedule for the night cause this one could take a while.  No food, no drinks, just you staring at the ceiling with many head nods.  These chats or talks usually end with the male saying, “well that’s just the way I was born” because you are left with no other explanations for your inappropriate behavior.

 “You do whatever you want”

-Typical meaning:  You have total freedom to choose to your liking.

-Real meaning:  You have no choice as it has already been decided for you.  You are just hearing this because you picked the wrong choice.  Cover up your wrong choice by just saying you were joking around and of course you would like too (insert correct choice here).

 “I don’t care either way”

-Typical meaning:  Its your choice.

-Real meaning:  This is very similar to the aforementioned line with one exception, you still have a chance to pick the correct choice.  You can go with two routes, pick the unappealing choice or go with your gut and get ready to battle it out.  Just know that this could lead to the “lets have a talk” line a couple of days down the road.

 “I’m not mad”

-Typical meaning:  Everything is cool and life is good.

-Real meaning:  Life is not good, she is really pissed and has probably been mad for 2 straight weeks now.   Good luck with finding out what she is mad about as that question is usually answered with this next doozy….

 “It’s fine”

-Typical meaning:  proceed as normal.

-Real meaning:  it is completely and entirely not fine.  It’s the complete opposite of fine (bad and poor according to Webster’s)  This means you did something really really bad and it’s too late to reconcile.  There is no hope with this one as this is the granddaddy of them all.   No matter how many times you ask or repeat the question, you will get the same answer…”its fine”.  There is no living male that can get past this line.

 What else did I forget?  Even seeing these terms in writing made me flinch a bit. 

thanks for having me,

-D

 

 

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16 Responses to “A post that is WAY better than ‘fine’”

  1. Anna Says:

    D, this post is awesome! Not that we want any less of Sara, but we want more of you–you rock!

    (Um, and you nailed it, too. That’s just how it is!)

  2. Matt Says:

    This post deserves a slow clap

    Clap….

    Clap….

    Clap….

    can I just say that when they tell me to “Do whatever I want” it usually ends up with me coming home drunk late at night.

    relationships have ended by women using that phrase and not meaning it.

  3. Molly Says:

    Yay, D! I think Mike would agree with you 100%…

  4. apollocreed Says:

    Awesome post. Coming from a sooon-to-be husband, you nailed it man. Sadly, it’s all true.

  5. f.B Says:

    Fine = “too late to reconcile.”

    Genius. I’ll jump in on Matt’s slow clap.

  6. Elizabeth Says:

    Great post, D!
    One addition – when she asks how she looks. There is only one right answer.

  7. Liebchen Says:

    Yeah…I can’t argue with any of those. I’ve used all of them. *hangs head in shame* Stupid passive-aggressive gene.

  8. LiLu Says:

    Hooooray for making the boys participate!!! Love this :-)(

  9. Beth Says:

    “well that’s just the way I was born” – hahahaha!

    Oh, D… you are almost as good as a guest blogger as you are in real life.

    Excellent, excellent points. You could write for Maxim.

  10. Maxie Says:

    I’m sad to admit I use those.

    I’m such a girl.


  11. OMG I loved your guest post! You should get a blog!!! I have heard so much about you, D, all good of course, and I hope we can all get together when you guys come to Pgh again. 🙂

  12. Erin Says:

    Purely spot on and fabulous. Turns out Sara’s Beloved is just as witty as she is. 😉

  13. MK Says:

    All I can truly say is . . . well done!

  14. Chelle Says:

    This just a classic… Serious classic…

    :o)

  15. B, Says:

    S,

    Seems like it took awhile, but D seems to be learning…


  16. […] I want to thank my husband D for doing an amazing and hilarious guest post for me while I was away.  He is literally that funny all the time. Posted in Inside my head | […]

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