Flight or Fight

March 20, 2009

Five thoughts about taking a 9 hour non-stop flights from Chicago to Honolulu

1) The bathrooms are worse than a frat house after a rush party.  Sure, they start clean.. but 6 hours into the flight they start getting a little funky. Seven hours into it they start looking like the rest rooms at a major league ball park during the 7th inning stretch,  and by hour 8 they are just disgusting.  Before the plane lands there is urine on the floor, toilet paper in the sink and paper hand towels sprawling into the hallway.  It is not pretty.

2) There are upsides and downsides to being in an exit row.  Upside- you get more leg room.  Downside- so does everyone else who feels the need to walk through your exit row to stretch their legs.  Upside- you don’t have anyone in front of you moving their seat back and forth.  Downside- you still have people behind you moving your seat.  Upside- you are closest to the door in case of an emergency.  Downside- if there is an emergency are you really going to care where the hell you are sitting? 

3) When you are stuck in a confned space with a bunch of strangers for 9 hours you start to form a little community.  You get to know your neighbors (nice at first, annoying after a while).  You offer to share gum and magazines and take a moment to talk about some of the other passengers on the flight.  You think “it could have been better….but it could have been way, way worse”

4) You get more than a little desperate for entertainment.  For example: two hours into the flight they showed a movie staring Keanu Reeves…and everyone watched it. 

5) People deplane faster than Usain Bolt*.  I don’t know if it was the two exit isles or the fact that we had all be on our butts for 9 strait hours but it took about 18 seconds from the moment that little fasten seat-belt sign turned off and dinged until I was breathing fresh Hawaiian air. 

*I am still not tired of the Usain Bolt jokes.  I know I could to better, I just don’t feel like trying all that hard.

I am going to be in Hawaii for the next week but while I am gone I have a great guest post coming!

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11 Responses to “Flight or Fight”

  1. Matt Says:

    It’s hard to take your bitching seriously because well, you are in Hawaii…

    and I am in a cubicle in Denver.

    fml.

  2. JoLee Says:

    I love to hate you right now.

  3. Lexi Says:

    lucky girl! enjoy!

  4. Lexi Says:

    PS. On a six hour flight to San Francisco, I once had the very first row. Upside? SO much leg room! Downside? No seat in front of me to pull down the little tray, and it was a mini version that popped out of the arm rest.

  5. f.B Says:

    Your Usain Bolt joke still got me. I’m not ready to move on.

  6. LiLu Says:

    “For example: two hours into the flight they showed a movie staring Keanu Reeves…and everyone watched it.”

    The horror!!! I hope it was at least, like, The Matrix… and not, like, The Lake House.

  7. Maxie Says:

    Keanu Reeves? NEVER. He is my least favorite actor EVER.

  8. D Says:

    if you are 6′ or taller, there are NO downsides for sitting in the exit row. None…..


  9. hahaha I love Matt’s comment. When are you coming to Pgh again? Easter?

  10. MK Says:

    Ha! Great list of pointers about long flights. I recently took a 6 hour flight and well, it got painful after the third hour. Reminiscent of the old “are we there yet?”

    As for Keanu Reeves . . . so not a convincing actor. Example: (a line he said with much emphasis) “I am an FBI Agent!”

    Enjoy Hawaii!!

  11. MK Says:

    Ha! Great list of pointers about long flights. I recently took a 6 hour flight and well, it got painful after the third hour. Reminiscent of the old “are we there yet?”

    As for Keanu Reeves . . . so not a convincing actor. Example: (a line he said with much emphasis) “I am an FBI Agent!”

    Enjoy Hawaii!!

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