February 26, 2009
After reading this post by Erin yesterday and hearing this story on NPR this morning, I started thinking about all the dumb things management likes to say at staff meetings or board meeting or just to you when you are alone in your office desperately trying to get work done. Here are five of my favorite, with their real life translations.
1) “We need to manage expectations” – What they mean: I want you to make sure no one expects us to actually succeed at this or even do a decent job.
2) “Lets evaluate the stakeholders”- What they mean: Who is going to flip their lid and think they actually have a say in the matter when we make this change?
3) “It is time for some strategic abandonment”- What they mean: Lets quit some stuff with out looking like we are quitting.
4) “I am going to have this run up through your department”- What they mean: You do all the work, I will show up in time to take the credit
5) “Look for the low-hanging fruit”- What they mean: As anyone from my last place of employment can tell you…they mean do the stuff that is easy right away so that you can spend months in meetings talking over and never actually doing the stuff that is hard.
I think I am totally ready to run an organization.