Let’s make it a double…

February 16, 2009

A double post on knowing when to say when:

Five ways you can tell that your colleague has had way to much to drink (and that you will never be going out with her again)

1) When you put in an order for the best nachos this side of Austin and she responds sulkily “noooo, I’m too fat to eat”

2) When after being politely refused the first time she insists on asking the bartender out yet again in a manner that is both suggestive and offensive.

3) When she falls off of the bar stool on her way to tripping on the curb to smoke a cigarette that she does not own.

4) When the bartender looks at you with a mix of horror and concern asking if you think she has been over served and you must remind him that no, three glasses of wine in a three hour period is not more than a responsible adult should be able to consume while you both plot a way to get her out of the bar into a cab and out of your hair. 

5) When she returns from her cigarette break and puts hear head down on the bar, in a puddle of her spilt wine.

Five ways to tell that perhaps you have had too much to drink and will be spending the next day sipping tea and wondering where the night went. 

1) When the waiter makes a joke about having consumed a pitcher of sangria a person and suggests next visit you skip the glasses and just ask for a straw.

2) When your spouse, partner, significant other or friend takes one look at you and says “well, I can see you are in no condition to drive home either”

3) When the check arrives and your bar bill has way more than doubled your food bill.

4) When you ask the waiter for some water please and he politely points out that a full glass has been sitting in front of you for apx 20 min.

5) When you comment that the weather is lovely on the walk home after you froze your butt of simply waking to the car on the way there.

At least I managed not to trip on anything…I think. 



12 Responses to “Let’s make it a double…”

  1. HAHAHAHAHA this is hilarious. I love the water comment by the waiter, that’s too funny. And your friend.. did she get home ok? LOL

    Clarification: She is not my friend; she is an insanely immature coworker. But yes, she did make it home.

  2. Liebchen Says:

    Excellent lists. I like the straw for the sangria…it happens.

    To the very best of us

  3. Matt Says:

    Your co-worker got that lit off of the glasses of wine?

    I feel bad for her. I really do.

    You’re nice. I felt bad for me, I really did.

  4. Erin Says:

    Wow. Imagine if she drank a shot or two.

    Good point! Who gets that drunk on three glasses of wine!?!?

  5. f.B Says:

    two really good lists. but i definitely like the second #4.

    It was not pretty.

  6. LiLu Says:

    Sounds like my Wednesday… and Thursday… thank goodness for long weekends to recover!

    I had to work today! I was not a happy camper.

  7. JoLee Says:

    Ahh, the sloppy drunk coworker. There’s always one of those in the office.

  8. Matt Says:

    Just to clarify… she had 3 glasses, not 3 bottles of wine? I think there’s a lesson there for all of us, never go out with lightweights.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Monday night Vodka & Nyquil to finish.

  9. apollocreed Says:

    If I didn’t get charged for alcohol when I went out to eat, I’d be a rich man.

  10. Beth Says:

    As I has already clarified via e-mail, I would like to drink with you this week and try to NOT be this girl. No promises, though.

  11. Mike Says:

    Here I am, head between my legs. Ready to drink.

  12. Carly Says:

    Three glasses of wine? That’s like…my nightly intake.

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