“Red, red wine, Stay close to me”

February 10, 2009

Here are five things to remember when you go on a wine tasting tour with your girlfriends (or guy friends, it does not matter)

1) Pack snacks. Everyone knows that food and wine were made for each other and nothing starts a day of early alcohol consumption better than a delicious pic-nick lunch

2) Have a designated driver! No matter how many of those snacks you consume and how stingy the pours may be, no one who has gone through 6 flights of wine should be behind the steering wheel of anything bigger than a Tonka truck.  Actually, I take that back…you should avoid Tonka trucks as well.  You never know.

3) Do not try anything that starts with the following introduction: “don’t think of this as a wine, think of it as a drink”.  Why?  Because wine should taste like wine, like dried cherries or Hungarian oak, like steel barrels or apricots,  but it should never, ever, under any circumstances taste like Hawaiian tropic tanning oil.  Blah.  (to both actually)

4) It is hard to determine exactly when you should stop visiting wineries or stop tasting wine.  I suggest stopping when you can no longer tell the difference from a pinot gris and a pinot noir or when you think “leather on the nose” is hilarious. 

5) When you find a bottle of petite sirah that you love and happens to be offered at a discount, don’t buy all that you can carry.  Buy more.  You will figure out a way to get it home.  Or,your sober driver will figure out a way to get it home.  I love sober drivers. 

Thank you C,E,G and M for an amazing Sunday.


13 Responses to ““Red, red wine, Stay close to me””

  1. Matt Says:

    I hate sweet wines. I never drink reisling… ever, just because it is usually too sweet for me.

    I like my wine to be strong, not sour- but you’re right, it should taste like WINE. Not kool aid.

    Funny, that is exactly how I like my men.

  2. Matt Says:

    Also, please tell the world that ARBOR MIST IS NOT A WINE. If you show up at my house with something like that, you will be asked to leave.

    Thank you.

    Duly noted.

  3. f.B Says:

    “should never, ever, under any circumstances taste like Hawaiian tropic tanning oil”

    That is why I have run screaming from every zinfandel I’ve ever had.

    I like big red Zins a lot, but none of them taste like coconut.

  4. Liebchen Says:

    “When you find a bottle of petite sirah that you love and happens to be offered at a discount, don’t buy all that you can carry. Buy more.”

    That’s my motto. Always buy more.

    More is more when it comes to finding a wine that you love.

  5. Erin Says:


    Bad thing for me to think about this morning.

    Feel. Like. Crap.


  6. apollocreed Says:

    Please send me some of that petite sirah. I’ll take three bottles.

    Done and Done.

  7. Beth Says:

    ohhhh please save me a bottle and I will come to your house for a dinner party (that I am making up right now and also inviting myself to… CLASS-Y) and drink it.

    I need to print out these directions and study them. Your Sunday sounded so fun…

    You are welcome to come over and drink my wine any day!

  8. adorablybitter Says:

    I want to live in a wine (and I mean real wine)-producing country too!

    I don’t know if you can call some of the stuff we drank ‘real wine’ but others were quite tasty.

  9. Arjewtino Says:

    And always…always…sample the ice wine.

    And when you get home, sample it over some really good vanilla ice cream

  10. Gee..I always liked Hawaiian Tropic!!

    But on your body, not in your wine glass.

  11. f.B Says:

    hmm. no coconut? it seems like i have misremembered then. i just remember a flurry of pink zinfandels that didn’t end well. but you’re right, i don’t remember coconut.

    Pink wine never ends well… or starts well for that matter.

  12. LiLu Says:

    Wine is probably the one thing I’ve never regretted spending money on. It’s ALWAYS the right decision.

    I could not agree more.

  13. ha! hilarious. I love the title of the post, made me laugh, you are too funny.

    And now, you will have the song stuck in your head all day. Sorry about that.

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