“Republicans drank whiskey neat, and thanked their lucky stars”

February 4, 2009

Since it has become painfully apparent that some of our political figures are in desperate need of a review session; here are five points they may want to remember. 

1) In the United States of America we have something we call a Democratic system.  In that system, the people elect officials to serve in various capacities in government.  Those elected officials are responsible for making laws and providing services.

2) Some of the laws and services require money to run.  To pay for them, the officials collect money from the people through something we call taxes.  The people pay taxes on everything from chewing gum to income and no one is exempt*.

3) Sometimes the taxes can get confusing.  Some people are very good at understanding taxes and we call these people accountants.  You can hire an accountant to do your taxes if you are unsure how to pay for the private limo service someone has given you or for your second maid. 

4) If you don’t pay your taxes you get in trouble.  If you don’t pay your taxes and you are in the running to be nominated by the new president for an important post, bad things happen.  Not only do you make yourself look like a greedy moron, you make your party looks stupid and you force people to question the vetting system of the the party leader (in this case, that would be the president). 

5) So, lets review.  PAY YOUR TAXES.  Yes, that includes all of you who think that you are better than us little people, above the system or impervious to the law. After all, you idiot, you ARE the law.

PS: If anyone recognizes the where this post title is from, you have great taste in music. 

*Not-for-profits are sort of exempt, but they are organizations not private citizens and quite frankly, it seems like you profit from just about everything.

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13 Responses to ““Republicans drank whiskey neat, and thanked their lucky stars””


  1. When this first came to light for both Geitner and Daschel I thought it honest mistakes. With each passing day, they look worse and worse and a clear sense of entitlement if not intent starts to emerge.

    I am impressed you gave them the benefit of the doubt even for a short while. I think the whole thing is pathetic, inexcusable and disgusting. Their job (by choice) is to be in the public eye and set an example for others, they are at best negligent and at worst crooks. I don’t know which is worse.

  2. Liebchen Says:

    “Sometimes the taxes can get confusing.” Amen.

    “If you don’t pay your taxes you get in trouble.” Double amen – except I’m more afraid of paying them *wrong*. Also, I’m not running for office, so I think I’m okay for a bit.

    But at least you are concerned about paying them at all. You are way ahead of the game.

  3. apollocreed Says:

    I looked up the lyrics, but I’m glad to know it’s the Indigo Girls. Because as a man, I cannot enjoy the Indigo Girls.

    It is actually a Steve Earl song, and until right now…I had no idea the Indigo Girls covered it.

  4. f.B Says:

    I’m sure you already know, but your 5-point listing was perfect for this. It let you blend in news-reporting, condescension and sarcasm so well. A perfect amuse bouche of an insult to fat cats everywhere.

    So I am like a sarcastic, condescending news smoothie? That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

  5. Arjewtino Says:

    “In that system, the people elect officials to serve in various capacities in government. Those elected officials are responsible for making laws and providing services.”

    So naive. This country is run by a combination of spies and big business with special interests.

    And Big Macs.

    stupid sara, she forgot the big macs.

  6. Matt Says:

    Who in the hell is the indigo girls?

    seriously?

    Ok, again….the song was written by Steve Earl and it is a great song. I will fight you if you disagree with me on this.


  7. I like Eve Selis too! I think you send cc this to everyone in both congress and the house!

    I think it might get my phone tapped, but it could be worth it.

  8. Matt Says:

    Do I have to pay taxes on the cash I receive in briefcases and unmarked envelopes from the lobbyists and big macs who actually run the country?

    Not if you are a politician.

  9. Mike Says:

    OK, but seriously, if you’re Barack, aren’t you busting heads over this on your vetting team and being like, fellas, how’d you screw this up? Seriously.

    Totally busting heads. But, it is not totally unreasonable to assume that people in office pay their taxes; in full and on time. When did that become a question?

  10. Matt Says:

    You want to fight?

    all because you like the indigo girls?


  11. hahaha I have no idea who sang that song but this post was hilarious.

  12. Erin Says:

    I know the whole point of this post was the tax thing, but now, quite frankly, all I can think about is drinking some Crown Royale neat.

  13. Janet Says:

    I’m wondering if all government officials paid all of their taxes if we could use some of that money for the endless bailouts.

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