And another one bites the dust, and another one gone, and another one gone…

December 16, 2008

– March 2001- I am living in London and visiting the National Portrait Gallery.  The Brits do not look highly upon ringing cell phones in museums.   Like any good American, trying not to look like an American, I take my phone out of my bag, dutifully turn it to vibrate and stick it in my pocket.  1 hr later…. I go to use the ladies room and at the exact moment I start to unbutton my pants, the cell phone ‘rings’ and vibrates itself out of my pocket and into the toilet where it vibrates and glows for three more rings before dying a slow death. 

– January 2003 – I am in graduate school desperately trying to finish up my masters degree while working part time.  I am getting ready to teach a class on Mercantilism in Colonial America and decide to use the ladies room before the class begins.  With my phone resting on my books I begin to enter the stall and immediately remember my previous experience with cell phones and water.  I go to lower my books and place the phone safely on the floor when the phone slides off and begins plummeting for the bowl below.  I reach out and knock the phone into the tank where it bounces twice and ultimately falls into the swimming pool.  This time, I know better.  I leave it exactly where it is and use another bathroom.

– April 2005-  My screen goes dead.  One minute it is fine and the next minute I cannot see who is calling me.  One minute later I can not access my phonebook and I realize that I have lost the ability to remember anyone’s phone number.  I vow that if I ever get the phone numbers back, I will work on my memorization.  I will also write them down.

– July 2007- There is no sound coming from my cell phone.  I increase the volume, I wear one of those ear piece things even when I am not driving.  I plug my other ear, close my eyes, turn off anything in the vicinity that could be making noise and still…I can not hear one word the person calling me is saying. 

– December 2008 – I meet my friend C for a drink (ok, maybe 2) after work.  On my way home I decide to stop at the ATM and get some cash for the weekend.  The ATM eats my card.  Right before my very eye’s and it will not give it back.  I take out my phone and flip it open to call Bank of America to tell them about their hungry ATM.  In my haste, aggravation and red wine haze…I over flip the phone.  Screen goes blue.  I can now only use my phone if I hold the part where you talk and the part where you listen at exactly 90 degrees.  No, I have not written down any phone numbers.  Yes, I know…I should have learned my lesson.

Am I overly hard on phones?  I don’t think so.  Is there a phone that can withstand the wrath of Sara?  I don’t know.  You tell me.

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14 Responses to “And another one bites the dust, and another one gone, and another one gone…”


  1. OMG! That’s just awful, Sara, especially the last one where you were without phone OR ATM card. I would get a water proof, Sara-proof case on your new phone, that way you make sure it doesn’t break! hehe

  2. fritz Says:

    i am sure there are phones that are sara proof, however there may not be phones that are 1.water proof 2.wine proof or 3. will write down the numbers for you…sorry! i have tried to find them!

  3. Matt Says:

    I will never let you borrow my phone.

    Never.

  4. f.B Says:

    that’s a lot of cellular turnover. what you need is a phone that doesn’t flip, doesn’t need to make sound to work, has no screen to even go blank and can swim. hmm.. that sounds like some kind of deep-sea diving pager/beeper. maybe Best Buy carries them?

  5. Sara Says:

    I’m pretty bad with phones myself, but not quite as bad as you. My last one died a horrible death in a purse full of root beer schnapps. It was a sticky situation.


  6. I wonder if your cellular provider has considered dropping you from their insurance plan.

    On a serious note, you may wish to consider a PDA phone where at the least all of you numbers will be synced to your computer.

  7. Beth Says:

    OK, I’m sorry but I have to laugh at the image of the TWO (not one, but TWO) cells dying in the toilet… hehehehe.

    I have never broken a cellphone and I shouldn’t be typing this because I am seriously cursing myself KNOCKING ON WOOD. But I have good luck for some reason… I don’t know why.

  8. Erin Says:

    You had me at hello.

    What a wonderful post. Perhaps walkie talkies?

  9. Sara Says:

    LPB- Yup, and I am still waiting on the ATM card
    Fritz- at least I know I am not alone
    Matt- that’s mean…smart, but mean
    FB- If it exists, BB will have it and they will have a chirpy sales associate ready to help me buy it.
    Sara- that does sound horrible
    RR- the wrath of my computer destruction is a whole other blog post. Technology and I are not friends.
    Beth- Yeah, how many people do you know who have dropped even one cell phone in the toilet?
    Erin- brilliant, as always.

  10. Tasha Says:

    I especially like the tags on this one “Cell Phones in the toilet”.
    You know, my husband goes through phones just as frequently as you do. He claims that they keep making them “better” meaning they can do all manner of ridiculous unnecessary crap, but they have actually made them worse and worse as far as quality goes – they break way too easily. (Of course, this coming from the same man who gets frustrated if he drops a call and literally throws his cell phone out the car window going 75 on the highway…maybe a little bias.)

  11. Janet Says:

    You could limit calls to those you can reach with a string tied between two cans. A Princess phone was never this difficult.

  12. apollocreed Says:

    Just two drinks huh? Sure…

  13. Liebchen Says:

    Oh, I hear you. I’ve dropped my phone in the toilet twice (I swear it just jumped out of my pocket – like it was diving), lost it once, and shut it in the car door once. That was a particularly special moment when I had to explain it to the Verizon tech guy.


  14. I shut my brand new smartphone with touch screen in the car last year, but they kinds gave me a new one, no questions asked. So glad you are going for the iPhone. Make sure you have insurance and a waterproof case!

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