And another one bites the dust, and another one gone, and another one gone…
December 16, 2008
– March 2001- I am living in London and visiting the National Portrait Gallery. The Brits do not look highly upon ringing cell phones in museums. Like any good American, trying not to look like an American, I take my phone out of my bag, dutifully turn it to vibrate and stick it in my pocket. 1 hr later…. I go to use the ladies room and at the exact moment I start to unbutton my pants, the cell phone ‘rings’ and vibrates itself out of my pocket and into the toilet where it vibrates and glows for three more rings before dying a slow death.
– January 2003 – I am in graduate school desperately trying to finish up my masters degree while working part time. I am getting ready to teach a class on Mercantilism in Colonial America and decide to use the ladies room before the class begins. With my phone resting on my books I begin to enter the stall and immediately remember my previous experience with cell phones and water. I go to lower my books and place the phone safely on the floor when the phone slides off and begins plummeting for the bowl below. I reach out and knock the phone into the tank where it bounces twice and ultimately falls into the swimming pool. This time, I know better. I leave it exactly where it is and use another bathroom.
– April 2005- My screen goes dead. One minute it is fine and the next minute I cannot see who is calling me. One minute later I can not access my phonebook and I realize that I have lost the ability to remember anyone’s phone number. I vow that if I ever get the phone numbers back, I will work on my memorization. I will also write them down.
– July 2007- There is no sound coming from my cell phone. I increase the volume, I wear one of those ear piece things even when I am not driving. I plug my other ear, close my eyes, turn off anything in the vicinity that could be making noise and still…I can not hear one word the person calling me is saying.
– December 2008 – I meet my friend C for a drink (ok, maybe 2) after work. On my way home I decide to stop at the ATM and get some cash for the weekend. The ATM eats my card. Right before my very eye’s and it will not give it back. I take out my phone and flip it open to call Bank of America to tell them about their hungry ATM. In my haste, aggravation and red wine haze…I over flip the phone. Screen goes blue. I can now only use my phone if I hold the part where you talk and the part where you listen at exactly 90 degrees. No, I have not written down any phone numbers. Yes, I know…I should have learned my lesson.
Am I overly hard on phones? I don’t think so. Is there a phone that can withstand the wrath of Sara? I don’t know. You tell me.