How contagious is the bubonic plague?

October 27, 2008

Five signs you may be in for a really long flight…

1) While sitting in the waiting area you are informed that one of the crew members has become violently ill and they will need to wait for a replacement. He may have the flu, he my have the bubonic plague…they just don’t know.

2) You go to take your seat and find that you are sitting in front of a 2 month old infant and her two year old sister,. There is one poor parent and a lot of snacks which are quickly turning into a pile of crumbs at your feet. The infant immediately starts to cry.

3) Before you can even get into your seat belt the captain comes on and informs everyone that due to an unusually strong headwind the normally easy 5 1/2 hour flight will be more like 6 1/2 hours but not to worry, you will be there before you know it. The infant continues to cry.

4) The man in the seat directly next to you clears his throat every 10 seconds. Literally, every ten seconds. You know it is every ten seconds because you become so infuriated by the mucus dislodging clearing of the throat you begin to count how many times it occurs in a minutes. An average of 6 times. You calculate how many times you will have to hear the mucus rumble and nose snorts oer the course of the next six and one half hours (apx 2340 times). The infant continues to cry.

5) The throat clearing evolves to a constant wheezing cough and asthmatic mucus rumble. He will not stop! You long for the moments when he was just clearing his throat every ten seconds. Your thoughts begin to alternate between homicide, suicide and general concern that the man sitting DIRECTLY next to you has caught the bubonic plague from the fallen crew member. The infant continues to cry.


9 Responses to “How contagious is the bubonic plague?”

  1. heidi Says:

    oh. man.

    that flight sound brutal

  2. You poor thing! That sounds awful!

  3. Anna Says:

    Ok, Caribou Barbie, hope you made it there without the plague. Can’t wait to hear about your adventures!

  4. Matt Says:


    on a weird other note…they found out squirrels in Denver City Park have the Bubonic Plague.

    They will kill you.

  5. Mike Says:

    But, come on, you’re in Palin country now. How bad can it really be? *this is me ducking*

  6. Erin Says:

    Oh, ick, ick, ick. Hate non-stop crying infants. Hate mucousy men. Hope the rest of your travels make up for this lousy flight. 😉

  7. oh noooooo, that sounds terrible, i hope you don’t get anything… are we still on for saturday?

  8. elizabeth Says:

    This is my most favorite post ever.
    I love, love, love it. I also love, love, love that it was you and not me as I am a germaphobic, selfish b*tch. 🙂

  9. […] is far. Like, 15 solid hours from my door to my hotel room with no layover.  And trust me, with the flight I had, I I felt every minute of those 15 […]

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