Gloria, you’re always on the run now
October 15, 2008
Inspired by the amazing fall weather we have all be bragging about in New England and my self imposed early dismissal from work (seriously, it was one of those days where if I stayed another second I would have certainly said something I would regret) I decided to head home and go for a run. While on the road I noticed some of my neighbors working out with an array of interesting behavior and I realized I am pretty sceptical.
I am wary of anyone who works out wearing a full face of makeup. The exception to this rule is professional dancers and those synchronized swimmers who I am pretty sure have inspired some legitimate phobias and yet, I know could kick my butt in just about anything.
I am wary of anyone who works out while talking on their cell phone. Love him or hate him, Bill Clinton managed to get through two presidencies jogging on his track every day with out texting any heads of state. Granted, during his first term cell phones were not all that popular and he had an array of secret service agents with him to relay urgent messages, but the point remains… no one is that important.
I am wary of anyone that works out is something that could be considered an outfit or could make a transition from active wear to evening wear with a simple change of footwear.
I am wary of anyone who manages to sing while they work out. Don’t get me wrong, I love a Laura Branigan tune, and “Gloria” has to be one of her best. But I just don’t think you can be working out to full capacity while belting out “I think they got your number, Gloria, I think they go your alias, Gloria”
I am wary of anyone who cheers on their dog while they run. Dude, the dog is fine. Your the one that looks like you are going to keel over any second.
Note: I am judgmental. It is something that I am not overly proud of and I really am working on. So, if after reading this post you are inspired to send me an e-mail calling me judgmental, I’ll save you the time. I know.