People are strange, when you’re a stranger….
September 23, 2008
Yesterday D had some things to do after work (read- go to the casino with his friends) so I was left with the prospect of making anything I wanted for dinner, or at least making the type of dinner D would take one look at and think, “that’s nice, where’s diner?”. I figured I would go to one of my favorite overpriced local markets and wander around until something struck me as interesting. I made it through the produce section and the gourmet cheese area and ended up at the seafood counter where it took me three attempts to make up my mind and select some shrimp at $16.99 a lb. I don’t know if I have gotten used to smaller shrimp, or blander shrimp, or just plain old average shrimp but the moment Mr. Seafood Man passed them to me, I looked at the big gray-black tubes of flesh and immediately decided I did not want them. I really did not want them. I did not even want to hold them. As I saw it, I had five options. They were as follows:
1) Admit that I am a complete space cadet and instantly return the shrimp to the seafood counter. Pro: I get them out of my hand right away. Con: I have to admit to Mr. Seafood Man that three tries is not quite enough opportunity for me to make up my mind when purchasing crustaceans as I had changed it again.
2) Hide the shrimp in one of the many cheese or pre-packaged sushi coolers and bolt. Pro: I do not need to admit to anyone that within a matter of 12 seconds I completely changed my mind about my protein choice. Con: if I got caught hiding the shrimp in a different area I would have to feign stupidity, look at the produce police blankly and say “oh, these don’t go here?” all while turning bright red as I attempt to bolt for the door.
3) Chuck the shrimp in the closest garbage can designed to take food sample remains and fancy coffee cups. Pro: Its quick and easy with a low risk factor for getting caught. Con: This is essentially stealing as it would be robbing the store of the $8.52 they could have gotten for my half pound of shrimp.
4) Suck it up and buy the shrimp. Pro: Least embarrassing and least unethical. Con: I don’t want the shrimp and $8.52 is one really nice drink or two sort of average drinks out of my pocket for something I will dump the second I get out of the store. There is just no way at this point I will eat the nasty looking shrimp.
5) Politely hand the shrimp to the check out girl when I purchase the rest of my groceries. Pro: Pretty ethical, seems easy. Con: Still fairly embarrassing.
I went with #5. The check out girl looked at me like I had six heads before calling over not one but TWO people to find out what the procedure was for returning food to the seafood department (can you return something you never purchased?) and asking me a bunch of questions about why I did not want the shrimp and why I got them in the first place.
So…my question is; how long to I need to wait before showing my face in the store again? And what option would have been better? Because obviously, I did not think through my exit strategy.
It’s not just me…these things look nasty.
All worm like and wet.