Letters to My Neighbor

September 22, 2008

Dear Neighbor,

As you may have noticed, in the last storm the fence that separates our yard has fallen down. We are not quite sure who owns the fence but maybe we can get together and talk about the repair. Sincerely, Your Neighbor

ONE WEEK LATER

Dear Neighbor,

We have taken a quick look around our yard and it appears that the fence that separates our yard from yours is different from the fences on either side of us. This leads me to believe that perhaps, the fence belongs to you. Since no one is quite sure, maybe we could split the cost? Best, Your Neighbor

THREE WEEKS LATER

Dear Neighbor,

I understand that since the “good” side of the fence is facing your yard, you believe the fence belongs to us. Have you considered that since the fence is exactly the same on all three sides of your yard, it may belong to you? Maybe when you put the fence up you decided you wanted to look at the nice side, and not have it face your neighbors. This shocks me because you certainly don’t seem like the type. -Your Neighbor

A MONTH LATER

Neighbor-

If we are going to continue to live together someone needs to replace the fence. I am sure you are not intentionally walking around your house with no shirt on and allowing your dog to take a dump in our yard but this is precisely the sort of thing a fence prevents.

ONE WEEK LATER

Fine. You win. I don’t want to look at your yard, your nasty dog or your sunburned belly any more than you want to watch me giving you the look of death. We will replace YOUR fence.

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8 Responses to “Letters to My Neighbor”

  1. Molly Says:

    I don’t get it. If the fence is the same on the rest of their property and then clearly theirs, why is it even an issue. Worth going to court over?


  2. WOW! The town would have the property lines. If it is his, clearly this is his problem! I would build a big ugly ass fence on your side just to piss him off! Good luck with this! I am having a fence issue right now as well! the neighbors dogs keep jumping over their fence and taking a crap in my yard! YUCK! this is why i do not have a dog, so i do not have to clean up crap!


  3. what the heck??? did you talk to them? it’s not fair you have to pay for it. make sure the nice side is facing your house!

  4. Matt Says:

    How does someone get a sunburned belly?

    and then, why would they show it?

    I just dont understand these things.

  5. Sara Says:

    Molly- My question exactly, clearly it is their freaking fence!
    Hallie- I agree 100% I am not ok with picking up poop.
    LPB- I have a feeling if I spoke to them, I might not be too nice. Just a hunch.
    Matt- You obviously have a lot to learn about running around shirtless, I suggest a tutorial.

  6. Erin Says:

    Obviously neighbor didn’t study Robert Frost’s “Mending Wall” in school.

  7. Carly Says:

    Do you guys have a plat of survey from when your house was purchased? That would tell you where the property line is and fence owner. Wait, that’s too logical. Have you considered making the fence fire wood? That might send a message.

  8. Sara Says:

    Erin- maybe I could give him a copy, along with a shirt.
    Carly- please, let’s not get logical it makes me nervous.

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