Hooter Hiders and Other Necessities

September 15, 2008

Saturday I spent five loving hours at a good friends baby shower. After hour three of ohhing and ahhing over little socks and crib sheets I looked over at my friends loot and it occurred to me…I had no idea what half of this stuff was, or what it was used for. Call me crazy, but I assumed all a kid really needed was a place to sleep, something to eat, a whole mess of diapers and a few sets of feetsy pajamas. Here are five things I discovered all new mothers and infant babies apparently have to have.

A Hooter Hider– this is essentially a big old bib for moms to cover themselves with so they can breast feed in public. Apparently, a blanket will not do. I don’t know why. On the website they boast they they are the Nursing Covers for Chic Mothers. So, if you want to blow $40 on something that will make you look chic, this is the place for you.

A Swaddleme Adjustable Infant Fleece Wrap – Do not think that you can just wrap your infant up in a plain blanket. You must have specialized item for turning you baby into a burrito so it will sleep comfortably. You must have the Swaddleme Adjustable Infant Fleece Wrap! You must have two!

(If this baby could talk he/she would be saying “I can’t believe you just paid $9.99 for this weird origami blanket. Are you saving for my college education?” )

The Babybearshop All the Better to Kiss You With Lip Balm – Do not think you can kiss my baby un balmed! Want to hold the baby, wash your hands. Want to kiss the baby, apply lip balm. NO, not your lip balm, my super all natural lavender better to kiss you with lip balm.

Baby Leg Warmers – These are perfect for those times when your baby’s legs are cold, and you have no pants. Or, if you have named your child Jennifer Beals and want her to get started young. Do they make cut sweatshirts for babies too?

The Boon Snack Ball Container – Because everything is better if you have snacks, and snacks are just better in balls.


13 Responses to “Hooter Hiders and Other Necessities”

  1. ha! that is hilarious. I never used a cover up for nursing because a cloth diaper would do the trick or even my nursing tops which cover everything anyway. I think most things are really unnecessary but it’s fun to get tons of gifts at showers.

  2. Molly Says:

    Ok I have to defend the leg warmers only because they are SO CUTE. Did you do a google image search for them? No? I’ll wait…

    See! Cute!

    If slightly ridiculous.

  3. Elizabeth Says:

    ew. kids.
    I wish someone would tell someone I know about the hooter hider so she’ll stop whippin’ it out all over the place. It wasn’t appropriate to do that when you didn’t have a kid – it’s not appropriate now that there is a kid attached to it!
    Do they sell anything to get the constant layer of jelly and jam off of sticky kid fingers?

  4. Matt Says:

    Every new mom needs a hooter hider!!!!!!

  5. fritz Says:

    see that is all the more reason for me to be perfectly fine with not having babies! i could never wrap my brain around all that!

  6. honestly a hooter hider? Go somewhere private! I never had one of those! Plus nursing two for over a year there was no need, i needed a big chair, lots of pillows and blankets. I hated being exposed! You really do not need all those gadgets, our parents didnt!! they are fun to look at though!!

  7. Carly Says:

    carly needs boon snack ball immediately. i know some friends that need a hooter hider, but they ain’t go no babies!

  8. Anna Says:

    I LOVE your commentary, you are so right, they are unecessary. Kinda love the snack ball, but for ME. HOOTER HIDER wins for best name, but hello, how about the millions of receiving blankies you get when you have a baby?

  9. Lexi Says:

    I threw a baby shower for my best friend last summer, and I had no idea what half the gifts were! I had the duty of writing down who brought what, and my decriptions were the worst!

  10. Tasha Says:

    I loved my hooter hider (athough I never heard it called that). I didn’t have one for my first tow, and they had this fun little game they played called “Pull the receiving blanket off Mommy’s shoulder while she’s nursing in the most precarious spots”. The Hooter Hider clips around your neck so the flailing arms of your imbibing infant can’t expose you.

    I thought the most overrated item I got was the Boppy cushion. It was a pain in the butt, and I didn’t really need it.

  11. Mike Says:

    I’m sorry, call me crazy, but I’m not a believer in hiding hooters. Ever.

  12. […] Baby worship – My friend H, whose baby shower I attended last month, had her beautiful little girl two weeks ago.  I spent a good portion of […]

  13. […] of my good friend A’s first son at her baby shower*.  As some of you may remember from my last baby shower experience…finding yourself among hooter hiders and baby leggings and all sorts of necessities can be a […]

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