Really? It is only Week One?

September 10, 2008

I am not going to proclaim to be a huge football fan or even to be all that knowledgeable about the sport.   I genuinely enjoy the game, I follow enough to know what sports commentators are taking about, and I adore Bill Simmons (mostly for his well placed 90210 references).  After this first week of football, here are the five things I am already really sick of hearing about.

1) That the whole NFL is in mourning over the loss of Tom Brady.   Really?  The wholeNFL is sitting home wearing black mourning the ‘loss’ of Tom Brady?  Are we being a little dramatic here?  He is not dead!  He is hurt, this happens.  Football after all, is a full contact sport. 

2) Conversations about what the loss of Tom Brady will mean for Fantasy Football.  D drafted Tom Brady as his one and only quarterback so trust me; I am fully aware of the implications of being sans QB for the reminder of the season.  I hate to be the one to point out the overly obvious here but the reason they call it Fantasy Football is because it is pretend.  Can we move on please?

3) Commentators comparing everything Aaron Rodgers chucks into the air to Brett Favre.  “Now, THAT was a Brett Favre throw”, must have been said 28 times during the Green Bay game.  Are we going to compare everything Aaron Rodgers does to Brett Favre?  Aaron Rodgers throws out his coffee cup, “Now, THAT was a Brett Favre toss”.  Aaron Rodgers hands someone some athletic tape, “Now, THAT was a Brett Favre pass”.  Aaron Rodgers moves his jock strap, “Now THAT was a Brett Favre adjustment”.  AR should just change the back of his jersey from “RODGERS” to “NOT BRETT FAVRE”.  Lets give the poor kid a break. 

4) Comparing everyone and everything to Usain Bolt.  I know we are still fresh off the Olympic media high, and when TO said it on Hard Knocks it was funny, but do we REALLY need to compare every athlete to Usain Bolt?  Can TO beat him?  Can Venus Williams beat him?  How much of a head start would I need to beat him?  I give it a week before we start seeing car commercials boasting about how they can go 0-60 faster than bolt.  Well, yeah… you’re a CAR.

5) Dramatic statements about how this football season it is “any ones game”.  ESPN recently posted the following statement “After week one, the NFL power structure is reeling”.  Really? The NFL Power structure is reeling?  Did I somehow mix up ESPN.com with NPR.org?  Are we talking about the invasion of Georgia or conversations with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki?  Maybe we should just send Tom Brady over to have a little conversation with him?  Since the NFL has lost Brady as its clear leader, maybe he can earn his keep by helping with foreign affairs?  Or at least start peace talks with Bridget Moynahan.

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6 Responses to “Really? It is only Week One?”

  1. Mike Says:

    This is precisely why you are brilliant. Respect for the game — yet the ability to point out all of the hideously ridiculous elements of something that is, after all, just a game. Nicely done. As always.


  2. I don’t like football, it’s all so dramatic and up and down for me. haha

  3. Matt Says:

    GO BRONCOS!!!!

  4. Matt Says:

    Sorry…I got a little excited there.

    I’m just happy it’s football season

  5. Jennifer Mastalski Says:

    Hi Sara – its Alli’s sister. I just wanted to tell you how funny your posts are!! This one definitely hit home since my dear husband also drafted Tom Brady. Will this fantasy stuff ever end? Keep up the good work!!!

  6. Erin Says:

    Love, love, love this post! Especially #3. And now my top 5 reasons I’m oh so happy it’s football season: Brady Quinn, Aaron Rogers, Mark Sanchez, David Carr, Matt Leinart. 😉

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