Lets get to the point, lets roll another joint….

August 21, 2008

As fate would have it, the one weekend I make it ALL THE WAY out to Seattle…was Hempfest.   I am not going to get too up there on my high horse and judge the massive number of Hempfest attendees.  I went to my first (and last) Grateful Dead concert at 13 and spent more than one August weekend wandering around Reggefest in Vermont.  But while trying to push my way though Hempfest 2008 to see the sculpture park overlooking the Seattle Piers, I noticed that there are 5 very specific people who attend Hempfest.  They are as follows:

The second time arounder: This is the person that LOVED the 60’s so much the first time, they have decided to give it a go the second time.  They can be found wearing tie-dye t-shirts with “Impeach Nixon” buttons and their Birkenstock’s have seen at least 4 presidential administrations. They are probably retired with a 401K that supports their trips to Bend, Oregon and actually own a hybrid because they bought it way before it was cool.

The first time arounder: This is the person who admired the 60’s so much they have decided to reclaim the “Make Love Not War” generation as their own.  They think Phish is the new Dead and may genuinely believe they are the first generation to “think green”.  They can be found wearing ‘vintage’ t-shirts and cargo shorts and have Nalgene bottles attached to their hemp belts. They somehow managed to travel to Seattle so they are either paying for their pre-packaged sushi rolls with their fathers credit card or have a job as an assistant bank manager.  They drive VW GTI’s or Subaru’s with roof racks… of course.

The girls WAY too young to be attending Hempfest alone: These young ladies can be spotted from a mile away as they all have on the exact same outfit/costume.  It consists of a padded bra like tank top, short shorts and wedge flip flops.  Their age is instantly given away (apx 14) by the poorly applied pancake make-up, charcoal eye liner and cherry red lipstick obviously applied on the bus, the train or on a bench… anywhere but in their parents house.  They are carrying a back pack that they used first as a prop to convince mom or dad they were going to a  friends house and later to store the clothes they had on when they first left home.  They don’t drive anything but a bike and the money they are spending on leis made of polyester pot leaves and hemp bracelets was earned by babysitting or received in a birthday card from their grandmother.

The parent/ child duo :  This parent took one look at the 14 year old girls walking around on their own and thought with self satisfaction “my child may be at Hempfest, but at least I am with them”.  This is the same “cool” parent who may smoke pot with their child or allow their child’s friend to drink in the house, believing they won’t test their boundaries or experiment with dangerous drugs if they are allowed to do the mild stuff at home.  They have somehow convinced themselves that they have created an ‘open enviornment’ and can trust their kinds to be honest with them.  With no disrespect…. they are in for a very rude awakening.

The politician: This person has managed to convince themselves (and is now trying to convince those around them) that Hempfest is NOT an excuse to walk around a major metropolitan city stoned but rather a political and economic movement.  They believe Hempfest is about equality and economics, freedom and civil liberties.  They can be found wearing a t-shirt that says “Hemp is a Plant, Bush is a Dope” and handing out pamphlets on the medicinal qualities of Marijuana, the tax revenue the government could collect if it were legalized and comparing the effects of pot smoking to alcohol consumption or tobacco inhalation.  This person is very serious and should NOT be laughed at.

Bloggers Note:  Towards the end of Hempfest D and I took a quick walk around a park near where it was being held.  Never in my life have I seen a mess more disgusting than the amount of trash, litter, food and bodily fluids I saw scattered about the park.  It was horribly disappointing that this group came together, in theory, to show their support for a plant and could not respect the area in which it was held enough to use a trash can or a port-a-potty.  I don’t know how the rest of the city felt, but I would certainly not want them in my home town.


6 Responses to “Lets get to the point, lets roll another joint….”

  1. fritz Says:

    we saw signs for that and every last one of your descriptions is what came to my mind! sorry about the sculpture park, we were there when it was raining and i was not all that impressed with the oversized parking cones…

  2. wow, that is awful that you didn’t know, I would have not liked to see that. Of course, I’ve never actually been to a concert. Do piano concerts count?

  3. Matt Says:

    Parent/child duo = Sad.

  4. Erin Says:

    You forgot to include my ex-husband on that list. 🙂 Great post.

  5. Mike Says:

    excellent as always.

  6. […] Asian Art Museum.  As aforementioned I did not get to see too much of the sculpture park due to Hempfest, but the collection is beautiful and the lobby has a very cool installation in […]

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