June 8, 2008
I just finished week three of I-don’t-want-to-BE-a-runner-but-I-need-to-do-something-so-I-am-going-to-run, and I am not getting any better. In fact, I think I may be getting worse and I have decided to start blaming my equipment. So, from head to toe, here are the five items that are letting me down.
1) My hair elastic. – Is it SO hard to create an elastic that can actually hold my hair back and up, without giving me a face lift or a migraine? We put people on the moon for Pete’s sake! The technology has GOT to exist.
2) My sports Bra – as aforementioned, I am by no means huge, however I have searched the world high a low for a sports bra that manages to give some actual support with out digging into my rib cage with such force, it leaves marks, swelling and scabs. (I would be happy to share a picture of these marks but I do not believe my body is ‘picture on the internet’ ready) Now in addition to dealing with the daggers shooting into my abdomen, I am forced to make peace with flesh tearing near my heart.
3) My Shorts – This I believe: I believe that you should not need a bikini wax to wear a pair of athletic shorts. I believe you should not have to consider your undergarments when choosing a pair of athletic shorts. I believe that when you pull a pair of athletic shorts on before a work out, you should be able to safely assume they will remain in a near location to where they started. Am I asking too much here?
4) My Shoe Laces – Aside from weather men (or women) I assumed that most other professions required you to actually understand your field before you entered it. I assumed that someone who was designing a pair of running sneakers had actually taken a quick jog or even worn a pair of sneakers once in their lives. I know this to not be the case, because if any of the Nike shoe designers had actually worn a pair of their shoes for more than 30 seconds, they too would discover that the laces DO NOT STAY TIED! It is hard enough to convince myself to go out for a run in the first place. It is not made easier by stopping every half mile to bend over (quite painful with the abdomen daggers) to RE-tie my shoe laces. Come on Nike people?!?! I know you are better than this!
5) My Sun Block- Dear sunblock people of the world, If you are going to advertise “Sports Block” that will not sweat off, drip down or sting your eyes they moment you start to perspire… you should actually deliver that in a product. Running is hard enough with out being blinded by a liquid chemical substance that is marketed to protect me. Its rude.