July 6, 2009
Last week D and I found ourselves with one of those reasons to celebrate* that allows you to forgo any self imposed budgetary restrictions you had in place and go anywhere you want for dinner. We mulled it over and talked about where he wanted to go, we thought about some swanky places with over priced food and some really casual places with underrated food. Finally we settled on a beatutiful local place on the docks that over looks the water and has a view as good as the food. We generally stay away from these places not because they are not great, but because well…they are always full of people. Last week was no different. Here are the 5 different classifications of people who were out that night and easy ways to spot them.
1) The Family That Arrived by Yacht.
Can be spottedwearing: Navy blue blazers with gold buttons, white shirts, tan pants and loafers (no socks). Amazingly enough, this outfit comes in sizes ranging from 4T to 44/34. Adult women can be found in Lilly Pulitzer dresses on overly tanned skin wearing their ‘summer’ diamonds on polished fingers clutching Chanel bags. Juvenile girls wear sundresses with impossibly white cardigans and have begun training for their first face lift with hair pulled back in a painfully tight bow courtesy of their foreign nanny.
Can be heard: Saying nothing.
2) The People That Work for the Family That Arrived by Yacht.
Can be spotted wearing: White shorts and matching polo shirts over tan well worked bodies with boating sandals, white sneakers or flip flops. When the sun goes down and their polarized sunglasses are pushed up on their sun bleached hair you can see serious sunglass lines (raccoon eyes) and are assured they have the farmers tan to match.
Can be heard: Actually talking to the children or seeking out a place to find cheap draft beer.
3) The Tourists.
Can be spotted wearing: Matching sweatshirts with screened on letters spelling out the name of the town they are visiting or the town they visited before when the temperature dropped and they realized they packed for the tropics not a coastal town in New England. Outfits are accessorized with shopping bags full of salt water taffy, cheap t-shirts and small boxes covered in shells. Cameras hang unashamedly around their necks.
Can be heard: Asking for directions while looking at their map, discussing the merits of the 2 for 1 coupon verse the 20% off coupon and wondering out loud ‘where all the locals eat’.
4) The Locals
Can be spotted wearing: Judgemental looks, signs of fatigue and whatever they wore to work that day, or whatever they threw on when they got home.
Can be heard: Complaining about the tourists, saying hello to friends who have also ventured out for the night and comparing this summers crowds to last.
5) The Fishermen
Can be spotted wearing: Concerned looks over the falling prices of wholesale lobster** under salt caked baseball caps advertising West Marine or a local shipyard, foul weather gear, work boots and t-shirts. Work callused hands clutch bags of gear, coolers of lunch remnants and sweatshirts not needed since dawn.
Can be heard: Giving each other a hard time, laughing at someones expense or walking home exhausted in silence.
* For anyone who is wondering, D passed the last of 7 exams to become a licensed architect.
**Go out tonight and buy lobster! It is cheap, delicious and the industry is really hurting. If you live in NE, buy local lobster! If you live anywhere else, buy NE lobster! If you are a lobster lover and are going to write me a nasty e-mail about the promotion of killing sea creatures don’t bother!
Don’t you want to eat me?