Here are 5 ways you can very easily waste an entire weekend, with out really accomplishing anything.

1) Watching Lifetime TV- Even worse than Lifetime is that Lifetime movie network.  Have you seen the one where all the 14 year old’s get syphilis?  It sure makes the “gee mom, I smoked a cigarette, we should really talk about it” after school specials we grew up on seem rather lame. 

2) Thinking about packing but not actually packing – At the end of the week I am heading to Alaska for a few days for work and I have NO idea what to pack.*  I have a  formal reception to go to plus lots of meeting-ish stuff and the only thing I can think of that sounds Alaska appropriate is a fur coat and muff. And as fate would have it… both my fur coat and muff are at the cleaners.  Maybe Sarah Palin can take a brief break from her political career and SNL obligations to give me some advice?  Also, does anyone know where I get on of those blow up neck pillow things for the plane? The non-blow up ones are easy to find but I can’t find the inflatable ones anywhere and since I will be spending apx 18 hrs in airplane seats, I am thinking regardless of the cost…it will be worth the investment.

3) Baby worship – My friend H, whose baby shower I attended last month, had her beautiful little girl two weeks ago.  I spent a good portion of Sunday gazing into her sapphire blue eyes (when they were open) and being in total wonder of this little girl who turned my friend into a mother.  (I spent an equal portion of Sunday hearing all about the horrible birth she had, vowing never to go to the hospital where she delivered and making a mental note to research adoption agencies when I got home)

4) Gem week on HSN- As aforementioned, I am a sucker for home shopping networks, and gem week is my favorite.  But, for anyone who is feeling judgemental about home shopping I must inform you that as of this morning, the design store for Museum of Modern Art was on HSN.  And if it is good enough for the MOMA, it is good enough for all of us.  Don’t judge. 

5) Listening to the Bills game on the radio – I have not had time to really look into it this morning but apparently, someone released some balloons outside of the Bills stadium, they got caught in a  transformer and the entire stadium was with out power for most of the game.  No lights, no score board, no timing system, no communication between players, and commentators who were calling in the game via cell phone as ref’s kept the clock on watches.  I love this stuff!  I just hope the balloons did not belong to some dude who was hoping to propose to his girlfriend on the score board at half time. Not only did he fuck up the game for everyone else; he was with out balloons to give her when he popped the question on a score board that was not working.  Tough day MR. Stadium Scoreboard Proposal Guy. 

* Some of you have GOT to be wondering what I do for a living that requires me to go to Mississippi and Alaska in the same month.