May 12, 2008
After spending nearly all of my weekend in various airports in the northeast, here are the five people I most seriously wanted to have a heart-to-heart with
Mr. Check in Man- When we went to check our bags and get our boarding group B tickets and specifically asked you if the flight was delayed… that would have been the appropriate time to inform us that yes, the flight is running a mere six hours behind schedule. It would have saved us from having to go back to long term parking to get the car to go find something to eat besides soggy salad and greasy chips.
Ms. Cell Phone Lady- While I realize your job as the worst dressed* most important person on the planet is highly vital to your target sales group, stake holders, branch mangers and identified priority unit…. Not one of us in the overcrowded uncomfortable waiting area cares. Ms. I am going to remain calm despite the fact that my 5 year old is having a total melt down, looked like she was going to kill you at least three times. I would not have stopped her.
* Molly- she was wearing white nylons with back strappy sandals… seriously.
Miss. Bathroom Bolter – Why don’t you wash your hands?!?!?! Your plane will wait 25 seconds for you to do a courtesy rub under water. This is a public restroom in an international airport! It is a Mecca for those coming and going and a breeder of foreign germs mixing with local infections. Please, please for all that is healthy and good…. Wash your hands!
Ms. Nose picker- yes, I called you a nose picker. That is because you dug into your nasal cavity twice before handing me my pre-packaged salad and once before giving me my $1.57 in change. I know it was a dollar fifty-seven because I thought… it is not worth the dollar fifty-seven to touch the nose picker change. You should have lunch with Miss Bathroom Bolter.
Little Mr. Melt Down- you are an ok dude in my book. You were calmer than I was for the first four hours of our delay and you did everything in your power to irritate Ms. Cell Phone Lady. I only wish you had thrown something at her so I could give a satisfied you-get-what-you-deserve look.